Messages From Heaven: For Husbands Only

Messages From Heaven: For Husbands Only: Valentine's Day may be the one time each year that most husbands let down the macho exterior and actually demonstrate their lov...

For Husbands Only

Valentine's Day may be the one time each year that most husbands let down the macho exterior and actually demonstrate their love for their wives in tangible ways. You might shower your wife with flowers or candy, or take her out on a romantic evening. Some of you may even make greater sacrifices, such as cleaning the house, treating her to breakfast in bed, or buying some cherished gift. But once the day ends, so does Prince Charming, and you revert to your normal self and usual role.
Ask many Christian husbands to summarize their biblical duty in one word, and they will answer, "Leadership." Scripture answers the question with a different word: love.
There is no doubt that God's design for you if you're a husband includes the aspect of leadership. But it is a leadership that flows from love and is always tempered by tender, caring affection. The husband's proper role as a loving, nurturing head is best epitomized by Christ, who took the servant's role to wash His disciples' feet (John 13:3-17).
It is significant that before the apostle Paul instructs husbands and wives how to love each other that he calls for mutual submission. The New American Standard Bible renders Ephesians 5:21 this way: "Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ." That's a general command to all Christians in all contexts.
Husbands are no exception to this rule. The love you are to show your wife involves submission. It is colored and characterized by meekness, tenderness, and service. It is a humble, servant's love, like that of Christ.
Submission is what sets the stage for Paul's instructions to husbands: "Love your wives" (v. 25). The whole idea of the husband's headship is a comparison to Christ. The husband's headship over the wife is likened to Christ's headship over the church. "The husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church" (v. 23). Therefore your love for your wife is supposed to be like Christ's love for the church: "Love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her" (v. 25).
The sacrifice of Christ is the very epitome of what love calls for. 1 John 3:16 says, "By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us." Jesus Himself said, "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends" (John 15:13).
Without actually using the word love, the apostle Peter describes your love for your wife: "Husbands, likewise, dwell with [your wives] with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life" (1 Peter 3:7).
The headship-submission relationship is not about inherent superiority and inferiority. Many wives are frankly wiser, more knowledgeable, more articulate, and more discerning than their husbands. Yet God has ordered the family so that the man is the head. That is not because the wife automatically owes the husband servile deference as his inferior — for she is not to be treated as an inferior, but as a sister and joint heir. The reason for the divine order is that your wife is the weaker vessel — more to come about that in a moment — and you therefore owe her sacrifice and protection.
My challenge to you husbands is to make every day a Valentine's Day for your wives. Make the following three actions a daily priority in your relationship with your wife and you will be fulfilling your Christlike, sacrificial duty toward her.

Consideration. "Live with your wives in an understanding way," Peter says in verse 7 (NASB). He's speaking of being considerate. This is opposite the cave-man mentality some today would advocate. It's incompatible with the kind of independent, proud, self-absorbed machismo many seem to think epitomizes true maleness. It calls for understanding, sensitivity, and meeting your wife's needs. It involves a sincere effort to understand her feelings, fears, anxieties, concerns, goals, dreams, and desires. In short, you must be considerate.
Often it boils down to listening. You must understand your wife's heart. How can you express a sacrificial love that meets her needs when you have no earthly idea what those needs are?
That is frankly a struggle for most men. It is not something that comes naturally to us. Like our children, we wrestle against our own sinful tendencies and selfish desires. But God calls us to be models of sacrificial love in our families, and that begins by being considerate.

Chivalry. The wife is "the weaker vessel," according to Peter. In what sense are women "weaker?" This has reference primarily to the physical realm. Women are, as a class, physically weaker than men. Now, it is undoubtedly true that there are some men whose wives are physically more powerful than them. But that is unusual, and I believe that even in those exceptional cases, the principle still applies. You are to treat your wife with a gentle chivalry. You can do this in a thousand ways, from opening doors for her to moving furniture and doing the heavy work around the house.
A loving husband would not say to his wife, "After you've changed the tire I'll be glad to take you to the store." We serve them with our strength. We treat them as the weaker vessel, showing them a particular deference in matters where their physical weakness places them at a disadvantage. 1 Peter 3:7 actually suggests that God designed women to be under the protection of a man, benefiting from his strength. And serving our wives by lending them that strength is one of the main ways we show them a Christlike, sacrificial love.

Communion. We're to regard our wives "as being heirs together of the grace of life." Men and women may be unequal physically, but they are equal spiritually. Treat your wife as a spiritual equal. While you're legitimately concerned with the task of spiritual leadership in your home, don't forget the responsibility of communion before God with your wife as a joint heir of His grace. Your role as her leader does not mean you are her superior. Both of you are utterly dependent on divine grace, and you are heirs together of that grace.
In the Song of Solomon, the wife says of her husband, "This is my beloved, and this is my friend" (5:16). I love that expression. She rejoices in her love for him, but it is not just his romantic devotion that thrills her. It is not his machismo or his leadership that causes her heart to sing. What is it? She is glad that he is her friend. That’s the kind of relationship husbands should cultivate. It is a deep sense of intimate, equal sharing of spiritual things. It is a communion together like no other relationship on earth.
Here's a simple way of summarizing sacrificial love: The Spirit filled husband loves his wife not for what she can do for him, but because of what he can do for her. That is exactly how Christ's love works. He loves us not because there's something in us that attracts Him, not because He gains any benefit from loving us, but simply because He determined to love us and delights to bestow on us His favor.
Did you realize that love is an act of the will, not a feeling? It is a commitment to the welfare of its object. It is a voluntary devotion. It involves sacrifice, consideration, chivalry, communion, courtesy, and commitment. It is precisely the kind of love you owes your wife. And if you are willing to obey God, by the power of God's Spirit, you can muster that kind of love for your wife.

Messages From Heaven: Seeing Through the Pain!

Messages From Heaven: Seeing Through the Pain!: Each of us has a clarifying moment in our lives. Joseph’s clarifying moment occurred on the day his ten brothers filed into the throne ro...

Seeing Through the Pain!

Each of us has a clarifying moment in our lives. Joseph’s clarifying moment occurred on the day his ten brothers filed into the throne room, desperate for food, awed by the splendors of Egyptian royalty, and totally oblivious of his secret identity.
The ten men hadn’t changed much. Older now, faces showing wear and tear, hair thinner, stubble grayer, eyes duller because of long-harbored guilt. Genesis 42 says they came and bowed down before him with their faces to the earth. Joseph saw his brothers and recognized them, but they did not recognize him.
He could have exacted revenge—or justice—on that day. He could have settled the score and balanced the books. But instead, he wept; and his tears washed away years of confusion, for he was beginning to see God’s end game. There was a purpose to the pain he’d endured.  God has reasons for our struggles, too, though we can’t always see them at the time. I can’t tell you specifically why certain things are happening to you; but through Joseph’s story, I can show you some of the patterns of God’s clarifying grace.
Problems Provide Greater Opportunities
For Joseph, the road to the throne wound through Potiphar’s house and Pharaoh’s prison; but every time a door slammed shut, it jarred another one open.
You may be imprisoned by a set of circumstances that aren’t to your liking, but problems are God’s way of providing us with opportunities that would never otherwise come. In every obstacle there is an opportunity.
Problems Promote Spiritual Maturity
Problems can make us better if we refuse to grow bitter. Few people have experienced worse treatment than Joseph. He was maligned, cheated, abused, and betrayed by one person after another. But there’s not a shred of evidence that Joseph grew angry at God. Instead, the circumstances matured him.
As we look back on Joseph’s life, we have the impression that he had a rather soft childhood. While his brothers were out working, Joseph was walking around in his fancy coat. Though younger, he was the favored son. But the Lord sent experiences to harden him up. Psalm 105:17-18 says that Joseph was laid in irons. The marginal reading says, in effect, that his soul came into iron. An old English translation says that iron entered into his soul.
When Joseph came out of prison, he was an iron-souled man, a man of strength, courage, and wisdom. He was ready at age thirty to carry his adopted nation through prolonged crisis without one sign of revolt. He was prepared for the hardship of famine because he had experienced the pain of prison.
God could spare us from hardship, but how would we learn? How would we grow?
Problems Prove Integrity
Our character, if genuine, is never altered by circumstances. Nothing exemplifies our moral fiber like the way we face difficulties. It’s a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate the reality and the integrity of our character before others.
Joseph’s character was a steadfast compass in his soul, but it was put on public display because of the hardships he endured. Whether we realize it or not, the same is true for us.
Problems Produce a Sense of Dependency
Problems also teach us to depend on the Lord. Whenever I read about Joseph in the Bible, I’m impressed with a phrase that’s repeated several times: “But the Lord was with Joseph . . . . The Lord was with Joseph.”
Our sins can separate us from God, but never our circumstances. The secret of Joseph’s power was his consciousness of God’s presence.
Problems Prepare our Hearts for Ministry
Finally, problems prepare us for ministry. We comfort others with the comfort we ourselves receive from the Lord. Joseph was able to comfort his family and nation because he knew firsthand the faithfulness of His God.
Sometimes problems are God’s way of preparing us to help someone else. That’s what happened to Joseph. From his prison experience, he became a servant of the whole world. Joseph went from pasture to pit to prison to palace—and at every step God was with Him, causing all things to work together for good under the omnipotent hand of divine sovereignty.
If we’ll only step back from the distress and see beyond the pain, we’ll understand there’s a purpose to every problem and a reason for every riddle; and when we realize that, it is a glorious clarifying moment.

Messages From Heaven: Out with Fear!

Messages From Heaven: Out with Fear!: You can dress fear up in all kinds of costumes, but for it's never very far away for any of us. Let's talk about what we fea...

Out with Fear!

You can dress fear up in all kinds of costumes, but for it's never very far away for any of us.
Let's talk about what we fear. One word says it all; we fear the future. No one's afraid of the past. The past has other problems. No one's really afraid of the present. We might be upset about the present, but we don't fear it because we know it. Fear involves the future. Fear involves the unknown. "Something's up ahead and I don't want it." Fear is about as accurate as the local weather forecast, but it's scary nonetheless.
When we think about the future, we fear loss and pain.
We're afraid of losing people. Will my spouse always love me? Will my kids walk with the Lord or go their own way?
We fear losing possessions and position. I'm barely able to make ends meet; will I be able to keep my house? Will I have enough?
We fear emotional pain. Somebody's not happy with me. They don't want me anymore.
We fear failure. I'm not happy with myself. I could have, I should have, I would have, I didn't, I'm not; I failed.
Let us agree that fear is a universal problem. It hits us like a wave, threatening to swallow us in its undertow. Scripture identifies the overwhelming emotion of fear almost 1000 times. The word fear is used 441 times; afraid, 167 times; tremble, 101 times; and terror or terrified, 121 times. The words dread, frighten, and faint are also repeatedly used throughout Scripture.
Fear is the opposite of all that Christianity is to be. Fear is the opposite of faith. Faith says, "Whatever it is, it'll be okay because of God." Fear says, It's not going to be okay, and doesn't think much about God at all.
Fear is the complete state of anti-God. God is seldom further from you then when your heart is filled with fear. An anxious, frightened reaction is never good and never from God. Romans 8:15 tells us, "You did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear," and 2 Timothy 1:7 says, "God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."
I think you get it. Fear doesn't belong in your life. Out with fear and in with faith.
2 Timothy 1:6-9 For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began.

Messages From Heaven: Defined Purpose!

Messages From Heaven: Defined Purpose!: When Wayne was just six years old, his father built an ice rink in the family’s backyard in Ontario, Canada. Why? “It was for self...

Defined Purpose!

When Wayne was just six years old, his father built an ice rink in the family’s backyard in Ontario, Canada. Why? “It was for self-preservation,” his father, Walter, said. “I got sick of taking him to the park and sitting there for hours freezing to death.” All his son wanted to do was play ice hockey. He had been skating and playing hockey since the age of two, and by the time he was six he was competing in youth leagues far above his age group. When he retired from his professional career in 1999 at age thirty-eight, “The Great One” was considered the greatest hockey player ever. Wayne Gretzky knew from the beginning that hockey was his life’s calling.
            Celebrated athletes like Wayne Gretzky understand the connection between purpose and passion. The deeper the conviction about purpose in life, the deeper the passion to excel. But I’m not just talking about athletes. Life is filled with people who are passionately committed to fulfilling what they know is God’s purpose for their life.

The Power of Purpose
            Whether in a spiritual or a natural sense (and sometimes they go together), there is great power in knowing one’s purpose in life. If one knows that his purpose in life is “A,” then “B-Z” will never prove to be a temptation. Focus, and the ability to say “No,” is made easier. There are fewer distractions and an increased sense of esteem and self-knowledge.
            The sooner a calling is recognized, the sooner the fruits of that calling can be shared. And nowhere is that more evident than in the kingdom of God, where life and ministry callings come from God Himself. The Bible is filled with examples of God’s call on an individual’s life. Abraham, Moses, Joshua, Samuel, David, Jeremiah, Gideon, Mary the mother of Jesus, the original twelve disciples, Saul of Tarsus who became Paul—the list goes on of those whom God called to do something specific for Him.
            The reality is that all Christians are “called to be saints” (Romans 1:7). Every Christian has a divine purpose: “to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called” (Ephesians 4:1). We have a purpose as servants of Christ to carry out the instructions He left with His apostles—to proclaim the Gospel and make disciples in all the nations of the world (Matthew 28:19-20).
            That purpose alone—called individually by God, to enjoy fellowship with Him, before the foundations of the earth were formed (Ephesians 1:4-6)—should be enough to keep us focused, energized, and prioritized for a lifetime. But there is an even deeper degree of calling and purpose I believe every Christian should seek, find, and fulfill.

Pursuing Your Personal Purpose
            When pursuing your personal purpose in life, here are some things to consider:
            •Be obedient to the will of God you know today. Every moral and spiritual command in Scripture is the will of God for your life.
            •Expect God to guide you into His will. Live, pray, and minister expectantly based on the conviction that He has a calling for your life.
            •Identify your spiritual gift(s) from God and seek out ways to minister with your gift(s). Get counsel from others about the effectiveness of your ministry.
            •Live actively, not passively. Assume that you are in His will today and that He will guide you and reveal more as you walk with Him.
            •Ask! Tell God you want to do what He has created and called you to do. Don’t be guilty of having not because you asked not (James 4:2).

Perfecting Your Personal Purpose
            Discovering God’s will is only half the task. The other half is being faithful to what God has called you to do. It is God’s responsibility to show us His will for our life. But it is our responsibility to nurture His calling and perfect it for His glory. I know of no more energizing factor in the Christian life than a personal conviction of knowing and fulfilling God’s call for your life. Pursue His will and perfect it for His glory.
            Rejoice always—this is God’s will for each of His children.

Messages From Heaven: Trustworthy Answers in Untrusting Times!

Messages From Heaven: Trustworthy Answers in Untrusting Times!: From the human perspective, life doesn't always make sense. It is a difficult journey with obstacles to face and pitfalls to avoi...

Trustworthy Answers in Untrusting Times!

From the human perspective, life doesn't always make sense. It is a difficult journey with obstacles to face and pitfalls to avoid. All of us have asked the same hard questions: "Is there a God?"; "Does He really love me?"; "Why am I here?"; "Why did this have to happen?"; "What is life really about?"
Life is a process of seeking answers for the road ahead. But the real question is: "Where do I go to get the answers to those questions?" Philosophers can only speculate about the meaning of life. At best, they can suggest theories for the reasons of suffering, the existence of God, and other basic spiritual questions. In the end, philosophy's answers are totally unsatisfying. Even Bertrand Russell, perhaps the premier philosopher of the twentieth century and a man totally opposed to Christianity, admitted before he died that philosophy had availed him nothing.
I'll never forget a man I once met while hiking through the mountains of northern California. He was a graduate of Boston University who lived in an overturned Frigidaire box by a stream.
I saw him there and introduced myself. After describing his frustrating search for the meaning of life, he told me, "I've escaped."
"Well, have you found the answers?" I asked.
"No," he replied, "but I've put myself into a situation where I don't have to ask the questions!" Unfortunately, that is the best human wisdom can do.

Information, But No Answers
The last fifty years have produced an information explosion unparalleled in human history. Yet with all we have learned and with all the volumes that have been written, modern knowledge has been unable to shed any new light on the most basic spiritual questions facing the human race. That's exactly the situation the Bible ascribes to mankind in the end times: "always learning, but never able to come to the knowledge of the truth" (2 Timothy 3:7).
Man has solved incredibly difficult problems in the fields of mathematics, astronomy, microbiology, and even space travel. But the true meaning of life stubbornly eludes those whose methods of pursuit are merely rational. They end up totally puzzled about life, death, God, man, sin, heaven, hell, love, joy, and peace.
The problem is that spiritual answers cannot be deduced by human reason alone (1 Corinthians 2:14). It's not that spiritual truth is irrational or illogical, but human wisdom is defective because it is tainted by man's sinfulness and unable to perceive the things of God.

Trustworthy Answers from the Unchanging God
That is why the Bible is so important. It gives us the answers we can't find on our own. It is God's Word to mankind. Scripture is divinely revealed truth that fills the vacuum of spiritual ignorance in all of us. Psalm 19 contains a hymn of praise to God for the wonders of His Word. It is also a marvelous lesson about the authority and sufficiency of Scripture to answer all the questions of life.

Perfect Answers
Verse 7 says, "The law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the soul." "Perfect" comes from a Hebrew word that means comprehensive, or complete. In other words, the Bible contains all the truth that is necessary to transform and restore the human soul.
Thus the Bible offers hope for those weighted down by a sense of their own failure. Because it is perfect truth, it can revive man's broken soul and offer new life to those defeated by sin and failure. If you are apathetic, Scripture will convict you of sin and show you your real needs. If on the other hand you are crushed with emptiness, guilt, and anxiety, God's Word contains truth that can transform your soul with new life in Christ.

Certain Answers
The psalmist goes on: "The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple" (v. 7). Natural intelligence is at best a leap in the dark. Even the most perceptive philosopher will tell you that there is no certainty in human wisdom. At his best, man is totally inadequate in the pursuit of truth.
Not so with Scripture. God's Word is sure, certain, infallible, inerrant, and totally reliable in every sense. In contrast to human wisdom, which is based on academic pursuit, the Bible can make a simple person wise. What a fantastic promise! Whatever you need to know in life is covered in the Word of God. Study it for yourself. It will tell you how to build lasting friendships, how to develop communication skills, and how to build a solid marriage. All you need is an open mind, a receptive spirit, and an obedient heart.

Satisfying Answers
Verse 8 continues: "The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart." Everyone wants a happy and contented life. The problem is that people look for joy in all the wrong places. Real happiness cannot be found in pleasure and materialism. You can't find lasting joy in sinful self-gratification and the hedonistic pursuit of money, sex, alcohol, and drugs. All these things lead to a dead end.
God offers real satisfaction to people who obey His Word. He wants us to be happy. Too many people think of God as a joyless ogre who stamps out pleasure wherever He finds it. God does not look at mankind from heaven saying, "There's one having fun; get him!" He designed us so that the greatest possible joy comes as a fruit of our obedience to Him.
Best of all, the gladness He gives is not the kind that ends when the party is over. It is a rich, deep joy that operates even in the midst of life's most difficult trials. No matter what pressures you may face in life, He will strengthen and guide you through His Word.

Enlightening Answers
"The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes" (v. 8). Scripture makes sense out of life. It helps us understand the depth of man's depravity without God. It is no wonder our world is filled with lying, cheating, murder, war, and tragedy. It is easy to understand why someone without spiritual understanding would want to escape into a box and hide!
What comfort does philosophy offer to someone who loses a child? What can human wisdom say to a person whose spouse has cancer? Only God's Word can speak with authority to the deep needs of life as it enlightens the eyes of those who submit to its truth.
The Bible may not always give easy answers to the hard questions we ask, but the truth it reveals is far superior to the pat answers of human wisdom. The Scripture declares the character of God. It shows Him as a loving, caring, all-wise, and omnipotent Sovereign who remains in control — no matter how bleak this world may seem.

Enduring Answers
Verse 9 says, "The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever." "The fear of the Lord" is parallel to "the law," "the testimony," "the precepts," and "the commandment" (vv. 7-8). It is another of the psalmist's names for Scripture. More than that, "the fear of the Lord" signifies the sum of man's response to God's Word.
The Bible, unlike any other book, endures forever. It is relevant in every generation — never out of date or obsolete. Though it is an ancient document, it never needs another edition. It has been translated to update the language, but for two millennia it has remained the same in content. It speaks to us as pointedly and authoritatively as it ever did to any generation since it was written.
Human philosophies come in and out of style. Every field of science known to man is constantly in a state of flux: changing, growing, discarding one maxim and replacing it with another. But one thing that never changes is the eternal Word of God.

True Answers
Finally, the psalmist says, "The judgments of the Lord are true; they are righteous altogether" (v. 9). What a bold statement that is! God's Word is true. This is the unequivocal testimony of Scripture to itself. It is hard today to find anything we can count on for truth. The media, politicians, and even some preachers all have a reputation for lacking credibility. In fact, we take it for granted that they regularly distort the truth.
In a world of lies, people despair of trying to find the truth. That was even true in the time of Christ. Pilate, facing Jesus on one hand and an angry mob on the other, cynically asked, "What is truth?" (John 18:38), as if to say, "I give up" — just like the man in the refrigerator box!
Franz Kafka, the brilliant German novelist, used a parable to illustrate the futility of man's search for truth. He described a bombed-out city of rubble where death and ruin were everywhere. People had been crushed under debris, where they lay dying in agony. In the middle of this total holocaust, one solitary figure sits in a bathroom. Kafka calls him the defiant fisherman. He sits on a toilet seat with a fishing line dangling in the bathtub. There is no water in the tub, and obviously no fish, but the defiant fisherman keeps on fishing anyhow.
That, said Kafka, is what the search for truth is like. It is a futile quest for something that isn't really there. It is a worthless pursuit for meaning, while the whole world is dying all around.
It is a hopeless picture, but that is exactly what it's like to look for truth apart from the Bible. The natural man cannot find truth in the spiritual realm. He is spiritually dead and unresponsive to God (Ephesians 2:1-2). The only way he can find truth is if the spiritual realm invades his coffin of flesh.
That's exactly what the Bible does! It is a supernatural revelation from God that invades the human heart with the sum of spiritual truth we need to know. If you are looking for the transformation of your soul; if you are in need of true wisdom and real joy; if you long for eternal life, the only place you'll ever find it is in the pages of God's Word, the Bible.

Messages From Heaven: How Do I Choose a Spouse?

Messages From Heaven: How Do I Choose a Spouse?: Give me some practical suggestions for the selection of a husband. I sure want to get it right and don't think I should depend ...

How Do I Choose a Spouse?

Give me some practical suggestions for the selection of a husband. I sure want to get it right and don't think I should depend just on looks or personality. What are the factors I should consider before saying "I do"?

Let me list a few things that you might want to consider:

1. A Sunday school teacher gave me some advice when I was thirteen years of age that I never forgot. He said, "Don't marry the person you think you can live with. Marry the one you can't live without." There's great truth in this advice. Marriage can be difficult even when two people are passionately in love with one another. It is murder when they don't have that foundation to build on.
2. Don't marry someone who has characteristics that you feel are intolerable. You may plan to change him or her in the future, but that probably won't happen. Behavior runs in deep channels that were cut during early childhood, and it is very difficult to alter them. In order to change a deeply ingrained pattern, you have to build a sturdy dam, dig another canal, and reroute the river in the new direction. That effort is rarely successful over the long haul. Therefore, if you can't live with a characteristic that shows up during courtship, it may plague you for the rest of your life. For example, a person who drinks every night is not likely to give up that habit after the honeymoon. If he or she is foolish with money or is basically unclean or tends to get violent when irritated or is extremely selfish, these are red flags you should not ignore. What you see is what you get.
   Of course, we all have flaws, and I'm not suggesting that a person has to be perfect to be a candidate for marriage. Rather, my point is that you have to decide if you can tolerate a quirky behavior for the rest of your life-- because that's how long you may have to deal with it. If you can't, don't bank on deprogramming the partner after you've said "I do." I advise you to keep your eyes wide open before marriage and then half-closed thereafter.
   
3. Do not marry impulsively! I can think of no better way to mess up your life than to leap into this critical decision without careful thought and prayer. It takes time to get acquainted and to walk through the early stages of the bonding process. Remember that the dating relationship is designed to conceal information, not reveal it. Both partners put on their best faces for the one they seek to attract. They guard the secrets that might be a turnoff. Therefore, many newlyweds get a big surprise during the first year of married life. I suggest that you take at least a year to get beyond the facade and into the inner character of the person.
4. If you are a deeply committed Christian, do not allow yourself to become "unequally yoked" with an unbeliever. You may expect to win your spouse to the Lord at some future date, and that does happen on occasion. But to count on it is risky at best, foolhardy at worst. Again, this is the question that must be answered: "Just how critical is it that my husband (or wife) shares my faith?" If it is essential and nonnegotiable, as the Scriptures tell us it should be for believers, then that matter should be given the highest priority in one's decision to marry.
5. Do not move in with a person before marriage. To do so is a bad idea for many reasons:
   • First, it is immoral and a violation of God's law.
   • Second, it undermines a relationship and often leads to divorce. Studies show that couples who live together before marriage have a 50 percent greater chance of divorce than those who don't, based on fifty years of data.¹ Those who cohabit also have less satisfying and more unstable marriages. Why? The researchers found that those who had lived together later regretted having "violated their moral standards," and "felt a loss of personal freedom to exit out the back door."
   • Furthermore, and in keeping with the theme of marital bonding, they have "stolen" a level of intimacy that is not warranted at that point, nor has it been validated by the degree of commitment to one another. As it turns out, God's way is not only the right way--it is the healthiest for everyone concerned.
6. Don't get married too young. Those who wed between the ages of fourteen and seventeen are twice as likely to divorce as couples who wait until their twenties. Making it as a family requires some characteristics that come with maturity, such as selflessness, stability, and self-control. It's best to wait for their arrival.
7. Finally, I'll conclude with the ultimate secret of lifelong love. Simply put, the stability of marriage is a by-product of an iron-willed determination to make it work. If you choose to marry, enter into that covenant with the resolve to remain committed to each other for life. Never threaten during angry moments to leave your mate. Don't allow yourself to consider even the possibility of divorce. Calling it quits must not become an option for those who want to go the distance!

Messages From Heaven: It Will Happen!

Messages From Heaven: It Will Happen!: 14 And this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will ...

It Will Happen!

¹⁴And this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come. ¹⁵So when you see the abomination of desolation spoken of by the prophet Daniel, standing in the holy place (let the reader understand), ¹⁶then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains. —Matthew 24:14-16

In Matthew 24, Jesus gave us some clear connecting points between Daniel 9 and the Book of Revelation. If we are going to be diligent about Bible reading, we are going to have to learn how to read prophetic passages. God is very clear that a prophet speaking for Him must be exactly right or he should be killed! (see Deuteronomy 18:20-21) This means the “prophets” featured in the supermarket papers wouldn’t last long!
Some of the things that happen through church history to make the fulfillment of prophesy apparent to the people of God are what are called “touchdown fulfillments.” Not the ultimate fulfillment, but an intermediate fulfillment. Take, for example, the prophecy of Isaiah 7:14, “A virgin shall conceive and bear a son.” There was a fulfillment of that in Isaiah’s day; and then ultimately in Christ.
The prophesy of Joel 2 mentioned in Acts 2 about young men dreaming dreams and old men seeing visions. That was fulfilled in Joel’s day and again in the birth of the Church, and there will be an ultimate fulfillment of that prophecy in the time ahead.
So it is with the Matthew 24 passage and the “abomination of desolation” that Jesus mentioned. Interesting, in 175 B.C., Antiochus the IV, a Syrian king, took the name Theos Epiphanes which means God Manifested. He marched through the Holy Land, down to Egypt. But because he was turned back (in 170 B.C.), he had such anger that he took it out on the Nation of Israel. He went into the Holy of Holies in the Temple and offered a pig on the altar there. And then he forced Jewish people to eat that meat and to bow down to him.
Now Theos Epiphanes had a bit of an ego problem, right? “Just call me God Manifested.” Eighty thousand Jews refused to bow down to him and they were all murdered in the streets of Jerusalem. Daniel’s prophecy was fulfilled and will be fulfilled again in the end.
Biblical prophecy is not a fantasy movie script. These are realities. And God has given us times in history to see a touchdown fulfillment of it. So we’re like, “That could totally happen. I can see that happening. It has happened — It will happen!” Like that. The ultimate fulfillment of the abomination of desolation is yet future, as Matthew points out when he notes, “let the reader understand.” Let’s anticipate God’s promises every day!

Messages From Heaven: Physical Differences Between Men and Women!

Messages From Heaven: Physical Differences Between Men and Women!: You've discussed briefly some of the physiological and emotional differences between the sexes. Could you list other physical ...

Physical Differences Between Men and Women!

You've discussed briefly some of the physiological and emotional differences between the sexes. Could you list other physical characteristics unique to males and females?

Men and women differ in countless ways, many of which they aren't even conscious of. Here are just a few of those differences:

1. A woman has greater constitutional vitality, perhaps because of her unique chromosomal pattern. Normally, she outlives a man by three or four years in the U.S. Females simply have a stronger hold on life than males, even in the uterus. More than 140 male babies are conceived for every 100 females; by the time birth occurs, the ratio is 105 to 100, with the rest of the males dying in spontaneous abortions.¹
2. Men have a higher incidence of death from almost every disease except three: benign tumors, disorders related to female reproduction, and breast cancer.²
3. Men have a higher rate of basal metabolism than women.³
4. The sexes differ in skeletal structure, women having a shorter head, broader face, less protruding chin, shorter legs, and longer trunk. The first finger of a woman's hand is usually longer than the third; with men the reverse is true. Boys' teeth last longer than do those of girls.⁴
5. Women have a larger stomach, kidneys, liver, and appendix, and smaller lungs than men.⁵
6. Women have three very important physiological functions totally absent in men--menstruation, pregnancy, and lactation. Each of these mechanisms influences behavior and feelings significantly. Female hormonal patterns are more complex and varied. The glands work differently in the two sexes. For example, a woman's thyroid is larger and more active; it enlarges during menstruation and pregnancy, which makes her more prone to goiter, provides resistance to cold, and is associated with the smooth skin, relatively hairless body, and the thin layer of subcutaneous fat that are important elements in the concept of personal beauty. Women are also more responsive emotionally, laughing and crying more readily.⁶
7. Women's blood contains more water (20 percent fewer red cells). Since red cells supply oxygen to the body, she tires more easily and is more prone to faint. Her constitutional viability is therefore strictly a long-range matter. When the working day in British factories, under wartime conditions, was increased from ten to twelve hours, accidents among women increased 150 percent; the rate of accidents among men did not increase significantly.⁷
8. Men are 50 percent stronger than women in brute strength.⁸
9. Women's hearts beat more rapidly than those of men (80 versus 72 beats per minute). Their blood pressure (ten points lower than men) varies more from minute to minute, but they have much less tendency to high blood pressure--at least until after menopause.⁹
10. Female lung capacity is about 30 percent less than in males.¹⁰
11. Women can withstand high temperatures better than men because their metabolism slows down less.¹¹
12. Men and women differ in every cell of their bodies because they carry a differing chromosomal pattern. The implications of those genetic components range from obvious to extremely subtle. For example, when researchers visited high school and college campuses to study behavior of the sexes, they observed that males and females even transported their books in different ways. The young men tended to carry them at their sides with their arms looped over the top. Women and girls, by contrast, usually cradled their books at their breasts, in much the same way they would a baby.¹²

Who can estimate how many other sex-related influences lie below the level of consciousness?

Messages From Heaven: Jesus: The Only Way to Heaven!

Messages From Heaven: Jesus: The Only Way to Heaven!: In the Jesus Movement of the 1960s and '70s, the "One Way" sign — the index finger held high — became a popular icon....

Jesus: The Only Way to Heaven!

In the Jesus Movement of the 1960s and '70s, the "One Way" sign — the index finger held high — became a popular icon. "One Way" bumper stickers and lapel pins were everywhere, and the "One Way" slogan for a time became the identifying catchphrase of all evangelicalism.
Evangelicalism in those days was an extremely diverse movement. (In some ways it was even more eclectic than it is today.) It encompassed everything from Jesus People, who were an integral part of that era's youth culture, to straight-line fundamentalists, who scorned everything contemporary. But all of them had at least one important thing in common: They knew that Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven. "One Way" seemed an unshakable belief that all evangelicals held in common.
That is no longer the case. The evangelical movement of today is no longer unified on this issue. Some who call themselves evangelicals are openly insisting that faith alone in Jesus is not the only way to heaven. They are now convinced that people of all faiths will be in heaven. Others are simply cowardly, embarrassed, or hesitant to affirm the exclusivity of the gospel in an era when inclusivity, pluralism, and tolerance are deemed supreme virtues by the secular world. They imagine it would be a tremendous cultural faux pas to declare that Christianity is the truth and all other faiths are wrong. Apparently, the evangelical movement's biggest fear today is that Christians will be seen as out of harmony with the world.


Postmodernism
Why has this dramatic shift taken place? Why has evangelicalism abandoned what believers once all agreed is absolutely true? I believe it is because church leaders, in their desperate quest to be relevant and fashionable, have actually failed to see where the contemporary world is going and why.
The dominant worldview in secular and academic circles today is called postmodernism. To the postmodernist, reality is whatever the individual imagines it to be. That means what is "true" is determined subjectively by each person, and there is no such thing as objective, authoritative truth that governs or applies to humanity universally. The postmodernist naturally believes it is pointless to argue whether opinion A is superior to opinion B. After all, if reality is merely a construct of the human mind, one person's perspective of truth is ultimately just as good as another's. "Truth" becomes nothing more than a personal opinion, usually best kept to oneself.
That is the one essential, non-negotiable demand postmodernism makes of everyone: We are not supposed to think we know any objective truth. Postmodernists often suggest that every opinion should be shown equal respect. And therefore, on the surface, postmodernism seems driven by a broad-minded concern for harmony and tolerance. It all sounds very charitable and altruistic. But what really underlies the postmodernist belief system is an utter intolerance for every worldview that makes any universal truth-claims-particularly biblical Christianity.


Postmodernism and the Church
The church today is filled with people who are advocating postmodern ideas. Some of them do it self-consciously and deliberately, but most do it unwittingly. (Having imbibed too much of the spirit of the age, they are simply regurgitating worldly opinion.) The evangelical movement as a whole, still recovering from its long battle with modernism, is not prepared for a new and different adversary. Many Christians have therefore not yet recognized the extreme danger posed by postmodernist thought.
Postmodernism's influence has clearly infected the church already. Evangelicals are toning down their message so that the gospel's stark truth-claims don't sound so jarring to the postmodern ear. Many shy away from stating unequivocally that the Bible is truth and all other religious systems and worldviews are false. Some who call themselves Christians have gone even further, purposefully denying the exclusivity of Christ and openly questioning His claim that He is the only way to God.
The biblical message is clear. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me" (John 14:6). The apostle Peter proclaimed to a hostile audience, "Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved" (Acts 4:12). The apostle John wrote, "He who does not believe the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him" (John 3:36).
Again and again, Scripture stresses that Jesus Christ is the only hope of salvation for the world. "For there is on God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus" (1 Timothy 2:5). Only Christ can atone for sin, and therefore only Christ can provide salvation. "And this is the testimony: that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life" (1 John 5:11-12).
Those truths are antithetical to the central tenet of postmodernism. They make exclusive, universal truth claims, declaring Christ the only true way to heaven and all other belief-systems erroneous. That is what Scripture teaches. It is what the true church has proclaimed throughout her history. It is the message of Christianity. And it simply cannot be adjusted to accommodate postmodern sensitivities.
Instead, many Christians just pass over the exclusive claims of Christ in embarrassed silence. Even worse, some in the church, including a few of evangelicalism's best-known leaders, have begun to suggest that perhaps people can be saved apart from knowing Christ.
Christians cannot capitulate to postmodernism without sacrificing the very essence of our faith. The Bible's claim that Christ is the only way of salvation is certainly out of harmony with the postmodern notion of "tolerance." But it is, after all, just what the Bible plainly teaches. And the Bible, not postmodern opinion, is the supreme authority for the Christian. The Bible alone should determine what we believe and proclaim to the world. We cannot waver on this, no matter how much this postmodern world complains that our beliefs make us "intolerant."


Tolerant Intolerance
Postmodernism's veneration of tolerance is its most obvious feature. But the version of "tolerance" peddled by postmodernists is actually a twisted and dangerous corruption of true virtue.
Incidentally, tolerance is never mentioned in the Bible as a virtue, except in the sense of patience, forbearance, and longsuffering (cf. Ephesians 4:2). In fact, the contemporary notion of tolerance is a pathetically feeble concept compared to the love Scripture commands Christians to show even to their enemies. Jesus said, "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you" (Luke 6:27-28; cf. vv. 29-36).
When our grandparents spoke of tolerance as a virtue, they had something like that in mind. The word once meant respecting people and treating them kindly even when we believe they are wrong. But the postmodern notion of tolerance means we must never regard anyone else's opinions as wrong. Biblical tolerance is for people; postmodern tolerance is for ideas.
Accepting every belief as equally valid is hardly a real virtue, but it is practically the only kind of virtue postmodernism knows anything about. Traditional virtues (including humility, self-control, and chastity) are openly scorned, and even regarded as transgressions in the world of postmodernism.
Predictably, the beatification of postmodern tolerance has had a disastrous effect on real virtue in our society. In this age of tolerance, what was once forbidden is now encouraged. What was once universally deemed immoral is now celebrated. Marital infidelity and divorce have been normalized. Profanity is commonplace. Abortion, homosexuality, and moral perversions of all kinds are championed by large advocacy groups and enthusiastically promoted by the popular media. The postmodern notion of tolerance is systematically turning genuine virtue on its head.
Just about the only remaining taboo is the naïve and politically incorrect notion that another person's alternative lifestyle, religion, or different perspective is wrong. One major exception to that rule stands out starkly: It is OK for postmodernists to be intolerant of those who claim they know the truth, particularly biblical Christians. In fact, those who fancy themselves the leading advocates of tolerance today are often the most outspoken opponents of evangelical Christianity.
Why is that? Why does authentic biblical Christianity find such ferocious opposition from people who think they are paragons of tolerance? It is because the truth — claims of Scripture — and particularly Jesus' claim to be the only way to God — are diametrically opposed to the fundamental presuppositions of the postmodern mind. The Christian message represents a death blow to the postmodernist worldview.
But as long as Christians are being duped or intimidated into softening the bold claims of Christ and widening the narrow road, the church will make no headway against postmodernism. We need to recover the distinctiveness of the gospel. We need to regain our confidence in the power of God's truth. And we need to proclaim boldly that Christ is the onlytrue hope for the people of this world.
That may not be what people want to hear in this pseudo-tolerant age of postmodernism. But it is true nonetheless. And precisely because it is true and the gospel of Christ is the only hope for a lost world, it is all the more urgent that we rise above all the voices of confusion in the world and say so.

Messages From Heaven: Not All There Is!

Messages From Heaven: Not All There Is!: Not long ago, I had a conversation with two people after church. One was in a wheelchair with a severe disability, and the other was spe...

Not All There Is!

Not long ago, I had a conversation with two people after church.

One was in a wheelchair with a severe disability, and the other was speaking at length. I listened to her for a while, and then I turned to the woman in the wheelchair and said, “Well, how are you doing?”

“I am doing fine,” she told me.

But then her friend said that she actually had just had two brain surgeries to remove cancer, and they were successful.

I looked at this young woman with her disability, someone who had just come through such a difficult time, and I thought, “And where is she now?” She is at church.

I think of all of the excuses people come up with as to why they can’t make it to church. It’s cold out, or it takes too long to get into the parking lot, and so forth. Yet here was this young woman who, despite her severe disability and recent surgeries, was at church, praising God and saying she is doing fine. I was touched by her example.

So I said to her, “You know, the Bible promises a special blessing and crown to those who have suffered in this life. I admire your faith. You are an inspiration to me.”

James 1:12 says, “God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him” (NLT). It all will be made up to us in the life to come. Have you lost something to follow Jesus? Whatever losses you may have incurred for following Christ will be more than made up to you.

Make no mistake about it: our life on earth isn’t all there is. There will be rewards for our faithfulness to God.